


you’re everywhere

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, but not too much, idk how to tag this, just something i had on my notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: haru was everywhere but nowhere at the same time. ikuya could only hope that they would meet again.
Relationships: Kirishima Ikuya/Nanase Haruka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	you’re everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> this is something i had on my notes app for a while and now i felt like sharing!! it’s nothing much, but i miss them a lot so here i am posting this

It wasn’t like Ikuya simply didn’t care anymore. It was more like he gave up trying not to be alone. No matter how many people told him he wasn’t — no matter how many times Hiyori told him he would be there for him — he still felt like he was bound not to love or be loved in any sense. So, he just let go: the idea of love had become, for him, out of reach. Something beyond him and his wretched self.

It didn’t help that he was weak. At least, that was what he believed himself to be: what else could explain the uneasiness he felt whenever he felt that his swimming had the slightest flaw? He disliked the feel of his lungs burning. He hated the fear of never facing the surface again, the fear of being pushed down — pushed until his back laid lifeless on the depths of the pool. Most of all, Ikuya feared his certainty that no matter how much he struggled, _he_ wouldn’t be there to save him again.

Of course, people had saved him other times. But he would always dwell on the memory of the first time he was saved. It wasn’t exactly a happy memory — to be fair, it was terrifying and he would rather not go through that shit never again — but the unexpected moment when he was met with bright blue eyes was the unforgettable moment when he was able to breathe again. It came as a surprise: in a certain way, he didn’t think anyone would even notice him, let alone save him. But Haru did. Perhaps, if Haru wasn’t there, another person would have jumped into the water and pulled him out of the pool. Maybe. He didn’t really know. But if he had to be saved by someone, he was glad it was Haru.

Down there, it felt lonely, cold, dark, suffocating, and hundreds of other adjectives that he could use to describe his brief moments of despair, which seemed to last forever, even though they lasted mere seconds to everyone else around him. Yet, when Haru reached for him, the look on his face told him ‘you are not alone’. Anyone could have looked at him this way, and Ikuya wouldn’t have believed. But for some reason, he believed in Haru: even though both his eyes and the pool were deep and blue, Haru’s shade of blue was safe and warm. His orbs were as mysterious as the bottom of the ocean, but it was a mystery he couldn’t bring himself to be afraid of. He wouldn’t mind getting lost inside his eyes, because he was, since then, sure Haru would be by his side, making sure to help him breathe again.

Haru was definitely one to keep his promises: Ikuya knew this better than, perhaps, anyone else in the world. Haru promised to swim the relay, and he did it.

But as much as Ikuya wished he did, Haru never promised to stay forever. And that hurt Ikuya so much. Because even though he never said he would be by his side forever, Ikuya thought that he would always be there. He would always be there to be his hero.

And the last thing he expected was that, after the relay, everything would end. So simply, so quickly. But it ended, and he couldn’t change it by any means.

The following years were, indeed, complicated, for various reasons. But time, despite passing by in the blink of an eye and hurting those who wished to freeze a moment in time, was also healing. Ikuya had been healing little by little. He was still afraid, but he was dealing with it in all ways he could. He couldn’t go back in time, but he had his memories.

Memories filled his mind whenever he looked down at the pool, or whenever he looked up at the starry sky. Memories filled his mind whenever he looked behind, to his past. And, when he realized that Haru was everywhere, something started filling his mind whenever he looked ahead.

He always wished Haru hadn’t left. He always wished Haru had promised to stay, so he couldn’t break it. He still does wish those things. But at that exact moment, he knew that, in some moment of their lives, they were bound to meet again.

No matter when, no matter how. Ikuya wouldn’t rush it.

He could just hope it won’t take too long.


End file.
